My Parenting Manifesto

I filled out Jayden's forms to play soccer today. His season will begin in early March in the U6 mixed-gender league. He's excited, though he doesn't quite understand that he's going to be going somewhere to be on a team. We have soccer nets in the backyard, and he's under the mistaken impression that hordes of children will be coming over to play soccer with him. Though Brian's made a solemn vow not to volunteer to coach, I know if there's a shortage of coaches - which is likely - he will. Brian played soccer from 3-18 and then worked as a ref for a bit. He loves the sport.

When I was working on the forms, something about it felt normal, but also surreal. Am I a soccer mom? My hair is dyed ferocious blue. I blog about radical feminism. Bedtime stories in my house have included biographies of political leaders. I'm not your typical soccer mom. I'm not that soccer mom.

Since my hair's been blue, I've overheard quite a few comments from those mini-van driving, capri-pant wearing Mamas. I don't resent them for who they are, but many of them sure resent me. I know I'll never fit in with them, but I wish for one conversation, they'd drop the judgment and let me tell them what I believe about parenting.

When Brian and I decided to have children, we had to confront what we thought the most important lessons we could impart were, and for us that meant asking what kind of adults we'd like to see. For us the guiding question of parenting is "who do we want to see as adults?"

We have a few answers, simple to write but much more difficult to create. Here, in short, is our parenting manifesto.

1. No bias, social pressure, or convention should keep you from exploring anything and everything of interest to you.

2. Righting social wrongs, speaking up for the oppressed, and generally making the world better are responsibilities we all share.

3. The path of least resistance usually isn't worth taking.

4. Every problem has a solution. Your job is to find it.

5. Fight the good fight, even if you're fighting alone.

6. Most people prefer the status quo because it's easy. Uncomfortable actions lead to social change.